Saturday, June 7, 2025

My Undocumented, Italian Grandfather

 


Le Bretagne - The ship my grandfather traveled on in 1909


In March of 1909, my grandfather, Carmelo Elias Orlando, arrived at Ellis Island aboard La Bretagne, a French ocean liner run by the Compagnie Générale Transatlantique. He was just 21 years old when he left behind a single-room home in the small town of Curinga, Italy, seeking something more in the land he and so many others called L’America.

Carmelo traveled in steerage, or third class—the section where most Italian immigrants and other working-class passengers were placed. Conditions were harsh: crowded bunks, shared toilets, little access to fresh air, and no privacy. The journey, which lasted about 7 to 10 days, was difficult in every sense. For immigrants like my grandfather, the Atlantic crossing was not just a physical trip—it was a leap of faith.

When La Bretagne reached New York Harbor, third-class passengers were ferried to Ellis Island for inspection. They carried their own bags, climbed a long staircase to the Great Hall, and were silently evaluated by immigration officials as they ascended. A limp, a cough, or a suspicious look could mean immediate detention—or deportation.

After the medical inspection, Carmelo underwent a legal interrogation. He was asked a rapid series of questions: name, age, birthplace, parents’ names, destination, and literacy. Thanks to the ship manifest, I now know how he answered those questions—and that he was, indeed, my grandfather. Two details stood out: first, the names he gave for his parents—Bruno and Lucia—matched the names of his first two children, my Uncle Bruno and Aunt Lucy. Second, he listed Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania as his destination—the town where my mother was later born.

The manifest also showed that Carmelo couldn’t read or write. But he wasn’t alone—he traveled with his literate cousin, Giuseppe Tripedi, who must have offered support and guidance along the way. I can’t imagine navigating the world without the ability to read or write, but he did it. He survived. And he eventually made a life for himself in Wilkes-Barre, working as a coal miner until his untimely death at just 47 years old.

Italian immigrants in that era were not viewed as fully “white” by mainstream American society. They were frequent targets of prejudice, exploitation, and even violence—including lynchings. Sometimes I imagine what my grandfather’s journey might look like if he had come to America in 2025 instead. The truth is, he would have been considered undocumented under today’s immigration laws. He never became a U.S. citizen, and there is no record of permanent residency or naturalization in USCIS files. Under a modern administration like Trump’s, he likely would have been deported.


The certificate of non-existence of naturalization papers for my grandfather


Think about that. Would he have been allowed to stay? To work? To raise a family? Would I even be here telling this story?

This piece of history matters to me—not just because it’s personal, but because it connects me to every immigrant navigating our system today. It takes bravery to leave everything behind in pursuit of safety and opportunity. I only wish that those who lack empathy for immigrants could pause and look more closely—not with judgment, but with humanity. I wish they could see our immigrant communities through the same beautiful lens that I do: as people with courage, hope, and unwavering strength. 

Sunday, April 20, 2025

13 Years Later... A Document I Wasn't Expecting

I'm back! 13 years later!  

Inspired by a conversation I had with a friend last week, I decided to do a search for my grandfather's missing 1920 census record that prevented me from getting my Italian citizenship. Once again, I didn't find it.  

I found something else instead. His obituary!   No family member ever shared an obituary with me.  I just happened upon it on Familysearch.com.  A woman named Deborah with an email famhistrme@gmail.com uploaded it back in 2023.  I reached out to her to thank her and ask if she is related to my grandfather in some way, but she hasn't responded.

Carmelo Orlando's obituary
A few interesting details about his obituary:

  • Why don't they name my grandmother, Antoinette?  I thought this was odd.
  • His eldest son was not called Carmen, Jr., to my knowledge.  He was Bruno Charles Orlando.
  • His sister's married name is misspelled.  Her married name was Rondinelli.
Maybe taking a 13 year break in my research wasn't such a bad idea.  I reached a point in my journey where I felt frustrated and disappointed by my outcome at the Italian Consultant. Since that time, genealogy websites have been updated, new documents have been added, and I have a renewed energy that might fuel a few more discoveries and blog posts.  It feels good to be back!








Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Thoughts on Grief. 6 Years Later.



Grief catches us at the most unexpected moments.   It’s not always the day and moment in which our loved one left us, but the days before and after the loss that haunt us the most.  The surrounding moments and hours and days and months are somehow the hardest because we remember everything we didn’t get to say or the circumstances in our lives that followed.   The anniversary of a passing will come and go in a few days, just as the day did when they left us. The truth is that the moment of death is peaceful and sacred.    Death is the easy part. It’s everything that surrounds death that causes our grief.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Fish Soup-An Oral History Project at Mount Holyoke College

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to participate in an oral history project at my alma mater, Mount Holyoke College.  The project has been in existence since 2009 and it very similar to Story Corps, another oral history project that has been recording the stories of Americans since 2003.  Story Corps recordings can be heard every week on National Public Radio.  I went to New York in January 2010 to record the story of my genealogy journey for Story Corps.

The Fish Soup project at my college was launched in an effort to explore the culture of Mount Holyoke College through oral history.  It is also an opportunity for students to develop cross-cultural awareness.

"One of the goals of the Fish Soup project is to encourage students to reflect on the meaning of “culture” and then to explore the cultures of the Mount Holyoke College community through recording and sharing stories about their lives at and before MHC. By participating in the project both as interviewers and interviewees, students can grow in their cross-cultural understanding and self-awareness. (Fish Soup, Mount Holyoke College)

I decided to share one of my blog posts from La Mia Famiglia for my story.  When I finished my recording, they gave me a copy of the story and I uploaded it here as a podcast for you all to hear.  I have not edited anything, so there are a few sounds in the background that might catch your attention.  Enjoy the podcast and ignore the noises!


Sunday, April 25, 2010

I'm Ancestor Approved


It was so nice to receive an award from Amore e Sapore di Famiglia. It took me a while to accept my award and fulfill my obligations, but here I am. In order to accept this award, I/you must do the following:

  • List ten things you have learned about any of your ancestors that has surprised, humbled, or enlightened you”
  • Pass the award along to ten other bloggers who you feel are doing their ancestors proud.
Here are my 10 blog nominations. Not all of them are "genealogy" blogs, but I know that the bloggers' ancestors and deceased loved ones would be very proud of their writing.

Bleeding Espresso


My Bella Vita

Geneabloggers

Calabrisella Mia

13 Hours in a Car with Mom


Olive Tree Genealogy Blog


Nonna's House

Ancestors at Rest

Greta's Genealogy Blog


Family History Is the Lie Commonly Agreed Upon


My List

  1. I was surprised to learn that my grandmother, Antoinette Picione, was detained at Ellis Island when she arrived to New York in August of 1921.
  2. I didn’t think that I had any living relatives in Curinga, Calabria, and to my surprise, I discovered my second cousin during my trip to Italy in October 2009. Maria died only one month after I returned to the United States. Maria Orlando, RIP: 1924-2009.
  3. I was surprised to see that my great-grandparents (Bruno and Maria) had many of their children in their late 30s and early 40s. I thought that was a trend of this generation, but it happened to in the 1870s too!
  4. I was surprised to see that my great aunt, Rosa Orlando, had two children between 1915-1924 and she never got married. Maria Orlando was her only surviving daughter.
  5. I was humbled to see that my grandfather, Carmelo Orlando, lived in a one-room house made of stone on Garibaldi St. in Curinga, Italy.
  6. I was enlightened to learn that my grandfather, Carmelo, played the accordion.
  7. I was surprised to learn that my uncle Bruno made a trip to Curinga in the 1950s and met my cousin Maria, and no one in the family ever knew about this secret!
  8. I was enlightened by the intense feeling of wholeness I experienced after making that trip to Italy in October 2009. It was as if a piece of my soul had been recuperated during that journey.
  9. I am enlightened by the love I feel for my deceased grandfather, Carmelo. This love is so strong that it proves to me that no matter if a person is living or dead, love never dies. In my case, having never met my grandfather, this intense love is even more poignant because I have no picture, no memories, just the artifacts, documents, and the memories of my trip I took to Curinga in order to honor his life.
  10. I was humbled by the beautiful treatment I received from the remaining Orlando family who still resides in the town of Curinga. Even though we were not able to figure out how my grandfather was related to their ancestors, we had a very beautiful experience together, researching our family trees and putting together more pieces of this amazing genealogical puzzle.

Jennifer's Video Update (in Italiano!) - April 25, 2010

Sunday, March 14, 2010

March 14th




In case some of you were still wondering why I am so drawn to Spanish-speaking cultures, I have an answer for you: I was conceived in San Juan, Puerto Rico. I have no Spanish or Latin American blood, as far as I am aware of, but many people who know me say, “You seem more “latina” than North American. For what it’s worth, I like to use the story of my parents’ trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico in June of 1969 as the reason for who I am today.
It is actually true that I was conceived on the island of Boriquen. I only learned this piece of information after my mother had passed away when I found a letter she had written to my dad’s mother. In the letter, she asked grandma to say a prayer for her because she was going to San Juan to see if she could get pregnant with my dad. I looked at the date on the letter, did the math, and yes, it worked out that I would have been conceived right around the time they took that trip.
It struck me as funny that my parents would have to take a trip to San Juan to make a baby. Couldn’t they just get frisky in Chicopee, Massachusetts? I do understand the reason for the trip though. My mom told me that after she lost her first child in April of 1968, she had a hard time getting pregnant, hence the trip to a warm tropical climate in the Caribbean to make a baby.
I love San Juan. I couldn’t explain to you why I felt so at home there when I took my first trip in February 2006, but it makes sense to me now. That trip altered my views on how other cultures approach life and death. I was there at the time that Ray Barretto passed away and I had the chance to witness a full-day musical celebration of his life in Old San Juan. Before that experience, I had only seen the somber side: the wake, funeral, and the farewell visit to the grave. Being present for Ray’s tribute allowed me to entertain the idea that death isn’t just about grieving and loss. It is also about the celebration of one’s life.
Why all these thoughts on my birthday? Well, I am thinking a lot about my mom today. For some reason, I am experiencing the feelings she must have had when I was born. That’s a pretty amazing feeling to have about myself. I don’t tend to think about myself that way. My view of me is from my own critical perspective the majority of the time. Not how someone else feels about me. You see, my mom was 42 years old when she had me. I am pretty certain that she was thinking that I was her last chance at having a child. She was also nervous throughout her entire pregnancy after having lost Michelle, my older sister. There had to have been joy and tears when Jennifer Ann was born a healthy 9 pound baby.
In the absence of my mom today, feeling her joy about my birth fills the void a bit. It also makes me appreciate this life I have been given.
Thank you my dear mom for this life of mine. Thank you for the unconditional love I feel around me today and always.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Genealogy, the Hot New Topic on Television



In the past 2 days, I have learned about two new television programs that deal with ancestry and genealogy. One program, Faces of America, is a PBS series that features Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Gates interviews 12 renowned Americans who ancestral stories are researched and shared on the series. I saw the first episode last night and I can see I am going to be busy on Wednesday evenings for a while!

The other program which I am less familiar with is on NBC and it's called, Who Do You Think You Are? This program appears to have a partnership with Ancestry.com, a genealogy service I used when I first started my research 3 years ago.

I am looking forward to watching both programs, and I can tell you that watching the first episode of Faces of America last night rekindled the passion I first felt when I started this ancestral journey 3 years ago.

Monday, January 18, 2010

My StoryCorps Experience


Kathy and I at the StoryCorps Story Booth in NYC.

Some of you have asked me on Facebook about my experience at StoryCorps this weekend. I have a one word response: Wonderful!

Now that I have done it myself, I am going to encourage you all to participate in this initiative because I feel even more strongly about StoryCorps now. Your story is just as important as the person next to you, so there is no reason why you shouldn't get involved too. I decided to tell my story because a colleague encouraged me to do so. While I was an avid listener of StoryCorps, it never occurred to me that I could also participate. Thankfully my colleague was there to encourage me.

The StoryCorps story booth is located in Foley Square above City Hall Park in downtown Manhattan. Kathy and I arrived a few minutes early so we could take some pictures outside the booth in front of the glass windows. We then entered the booth to find our facilitator, John, who accomodated us and told us about the process for our 60 minute appointment. The room in which the recording is completed is tiny, but the lighting makes it cozy and comfortable. The storyteller talks for about 40 minutes total, and then there is time for pictures at the end of the session.

I am glad that StoryCorps records a copy of the session for participants. Honestly, I don't remember how my story came out, I just know it did because Kathy knew the right questions to ask me. I seemed to have entered some other dimension once the storytelling started. I remember when John did the sound check and he asked us to tell him what we had for breakfast. I said, "Scrambled eggs with melted cheese and a cappuccino. With lactaid." After that point when the storytelling started, I remember talking a lot. As someone who usually does a lot of listening, it felt really good to be in the seat of the storyteller this time.

Thank you, Kathy, for being with me on this special occasion. And thank you for being such a positive force in my life. I am fortunate to have you as a friend.

Thank you, John, for being a great facilitator. You made us feel at home and comfortable in your presence.

Friday, January 15, 2010

StoryCorps, Here I Come



Tomorrow I will go to New York City to record my ancestral journey on StoryCorps. If you are not familiar with StoryCorps, you should definitely check out this wonderful initiative that has traveled across the country recording life stories of different individuals and families. You may decide you want to tell a story too!

A friend and colleague of mine heard my story back in November and she was amazed. She said it gave her goose bumps. She suggested I share this journey of mine by recording it for Story Corps. It never occurred to me to do such a thing, but I am so thankful that she encouraged me to do it. Thank you, Kathleen.

And thanks to all of you who follow my blog. It means a lot to me.

Peace,

Jennifer

Friday, January 8, 2010

Breathing Life Back into My Work, and My Ancestors



Photo Credit: Karen Meyeres


Keeping this project alive all depends on my persistence. There are some days when this project has a life of its own and moves forward without my help (those moments are what I call “the treasures”), and then there are phases when I feel like if I don’t blow life back into my work, it will lose momentum and die. This feeling is particularly apparent when I feel less connected to the Italian language, my research, and the people whom I met in Curinga.


I look at Maria’s face every day on my Blackberry. Her face is a reminder of the amazing journey I have taken thus far. She is the symbol now of what I had originally sought when I crossed the Atlantic looking for my roots in Curinga. She was the biggest of all the treasures, and I was fortunate to hold that treasure in my hand for two weeks before Maria completed her own life journey. How powerful is that? I made it in time to meet Maria, just as her time on Earth was coming to a close.


I look to my Creator for guidance on this one because I could take “the glass is half empty” attitude, but I try my best not to. That is, Jennifer crosses the Atlantic in search of family in the ancestral village of her grandfather. She unexpectedly finds one living relative, Maria Orlando. She meets her, and then Maria dies 1 month after Jennifer returns to the United States. That would be the negative take on this whole incredible experience. And believe me, I have shared my cynical nature with God about this matter. But it doesn’t get me very far.


I look to God for guidance on this experience because my Creator knows how much I long to belong. I struggle quite a bit with the orphan archetype. I sense my “only childness” and I wonder if I will ever come to a place where I can say I belong to a clan who will consider me one of theirs.


But like I said, I seek guidance on this one because it is the card I have picked, and perhaps God wants me to learn something from this experience instead of complaining that my time with Maria was cut short. Maybe God wants to show me that regardless of the size of my family on this Earth, I am really not as alone as I think I am. Don’t ask me why the death of Maria would make me feel less alone, because I don’t know. Maybe it is just that I am more grounded than I was before the trip to Italy? I just know that when I take a step back and get a bird’s eye view, Maria’s passing does not contribute to my sense of being orphaned. The only time I feel the orphan archetype making itself present is when I come down closer to Earth and view life at the micro level. Then I want to be invited to the weddings, then I want to be at the dinner table with everyone, then I wish I had children to call my own.


You probably think I am crazy because life really is about the micro level. It’s what we do every day and it’s about the people who surround us. So, if that’s all life is about, then I should feel sad and despondent, right? Not really. Just sometimes.


If this genealogy project has taught me anything, it has taught me to look at the bigger picture of which I am a piece. I see my intricate family tree, the ancestors and their life choices, and then I see myself as one little branch in that whole tree. The fact that I ended up as an only child, single in adulthood with no children, I know there are a lot worse things that could happen to a person. Besides, we never know what can happen at any given moment in life. Things could change my course and path. What those “things” are, I don’t know yet. I just need to be open to them. Just like Rosa Orlando was when she gave birth to Maria in 1924 as a single woman at 43 years of age.


All I know is that when I do my genealogy work, I don’t feel so alone anymore. Call me strange for being so preoccupied with my deceased ancestors, but there is comfort to be found in this work. There is comfort in knowing that they completed their journey and they probably had it a lot harder than I ever will. There is comfort in knowing that at the end of my road, I will get a great Italian embrace from all these ancestors I discovered on paper and whom I didn’t even get to meet in this lifetime.


Yes, I probably avoid a few nasty family quarrels because I am hanging out with the deceased loved ones instead of growing my own family around me. And remember, when we die, folks only seem to remember the good things about us. So, I don’t complain about anyone. All shortcomings have been forgotten! Grandpa gets the best deal because I never even had a chance to meet him!


In all seriousness though, persistently breathing life into this work is what keep it alive as well as the memory of my ancestors. I feel an obligation to them to be that person who reminds everyone that just because someone is dead doesn’t mean they are gone. Just because we didn’t know our ancestors doesn’t mean we shouldn’t honor them by saying their names and sharing their story with others. We are a part of them as they are a part of us. Alive or dead. Being aware of that very fact and believing it’s true, that is all I really need to assert my place on this Earth in this life God has given me.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My Citizenship Appointment



I finally made my appointment with the Italian Consulate of New York. I still have significant work to do: ammend documents, obtain Apostilles, and translate everything. But I have my appointment, finally.

The first available appointment was on October 12, 2010. October 12th is also my mother's birthday. Sweet.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Francesco Persano, My Grandfather's Travel Companion



For the longest time, I have wanted to share this photo of "La Bretagne", the ship that my grandfather took when he came to this country for the first time in 1909. Today seems like the appropriate day because something amazing happened!

Today I received an email from a man named Dave whose grandfather also came from Curinga. Dave happened to find this blog because he was visiting my other gluten-free blog! It turns out, our grandfathers were on the same ship. As I read through Dave's letter and I came upon his grandfather's name, I couldn't believe it. I recognized the name. It was Francesco Persano. I knew the name very well because I had studied the ship manifest and all my grandfather's travel companions. I know the names as if they were characters of my favorite novel. If you read one of my earlier posts , A Letter to Curinga, you will find the list of men from Curinga who traveled with my grandfather, Carmelo Orlando. Francesco Persano is the name right above my nonno's on the ship manifest.

This development in my research is yet another example of the fruits of my hard work. My patience has been tested and I have encountered my fair share of dead ends along the way. Nonetheless, I have stayed with this project because I can't imagine abandoning it. It's a part of me now.

Stay tuned in the coming weeks for more on this new development as Dave and I connect by phone to exchange stories about our grandfathers.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Saying Goodbye to Maria Orlando: 1924-2009


Maria and Jennifer holding a picture of Maria's cousins, October 2009

21-11-2009
Jennifer,
Mi dispiace dirti che Maria Orlando e morta oggi presso l'ospedale di Lamezia Terme. I funerali si faranno lunedi alle 13,30.
Claudio
November 21, 2009

Jennifer,
I am sorry to tell you that Maria Orlando died today at the Lamezia Terme hospital. The funeral will be on Monday at 1:30pm.
Claudio

I woke up this morning and stumbled to the kitchen to prepare my morning coffee. On the way to the kitchen, I grabbed my Blackberry and opened it up to that message. I stopped in my tracks. Maria died only one month after my departure from Italy.

It turns out that Maria was hospitalized two weeks ago for renal failure and an enlarged heart. She looked fine when I saw her at the rest home. She was slow and needed a walker to get around, but there was no indication that she was about to die. I am still stunned by the news. Stunned by the fact that I made it in time to meet my cousin. Only two weeks after my departure she would fall ill and start her journey over to the other side, that which awaits us all.

I feel a mix of sorrow and gratitude. I am sad because I have lost the most precious part of my trip to Curinga: Maria Orlando. At the same time, I feel grateful because I was given the opportunity to find her and meet her before she passed on. If you have followed my journey closely, you know that my meeting Maria was a major milestone in tracing my roots back to Curinga. Maria was the treasure, the last survivor of my grandfather’s family tree, and she was a surprise to top it all off. I never knew Maria existed because vital records for her mother did not indicate that her mom had given birth to Maria. Rosa was single, “nubile” as her death certificate read.

In the days since I returned from Curinga to my home in the United States, I have proudly showed everyone my picture of Maria. Each time I have an opportunity to tell my story about this journey, I pull out my Blackberry and I fondly show my friends the picture of Maria and me holding a picture of her first cousins, Bruno, Lucy, and Angela. She had not known about her first cousins, since they grew up in the United States and she stayed in Curinga her entire life. Nonetheless, I felt it was important for her to be aware of them, not only because they were all so close in age, but also because my mom was her first cousin.

When Sister Anna Lisa took that picture of us in the rest home during my second visit, I was overcome with a feeling of completeness. Despite the fact that my mother and her siblings had passed on and we only held a picture of them in our hands, our connection at that moment was the reunion of two branches in our family tree. Two branches that had been separated in 1909 by an ocean, a different language, a new life in Pennsylvania, and the early death of my grandfather in 1937. 100 years later, I would make my way to back to my grandfather’s town to discover Maria and introduce her to the rest of her family. We had come full circle together. We found each other and we mended the tree.

For me, the timing of these events is an affirmation that our actions and decisions are not necessarily a mere coincidence. There is a greater force at work here, call it/he/she what you would like. The fact that I would arrive to Curinga to meet Maria for the first time only a month and half before her demise, the fact that I didn’t wait until Christmas like I had originally planned, the fact that Maria had dreamt she would have a visitor from the United States two days before my arrival to the rest home...This experience has allowed me see God’s work in all its beauty. I am humbled and grateful to have been given this gift of Maria Orlando, as brief as our time was together.

Maria Orlando, September 14, 1924 – November 21, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Lettera Aperta a Jennifer


Jennifer at her grandfather's house in Curinga




About a year before I arrived to Curinga, I sent an email to the webmaster for the Curinga Insieme website. I saw that they invited readers to send publications and letters, so I decided to take a chance and send my letter to be published on their website. The webmaster, Cesare Cesareo, was nice enough to publish my short note and we continued to exchange emails about my interest in Curinga.

During my last weekend in Curinga, I had the pleasure of visiting Cesare's home where I met his wife and adorable cat, Kalos. We talked about my genealogy research, my impressions of Curinga, and my desire to return to Calabria to experience more of Curinga and the surrounding areas.

Cesare has written a very moving letter about my desire to turn back the clock, or perhaps stop it as he says, so that I could find my roots and pay homage to my ancestors who once resided in this beautiful town on a hilltop overlooking the sea.

I plan to translate this letter to English, but for the moment, I have it here as Cesare has written it Italian.

Thank you, Cesare. Thank you for your genuine interest in my journey back to my roots, back to Curinga.

"Jennifer è una persona che è nata, vive e lavora in un piccolo stato del grande continenteamericano, nulla di eccezionale o di trascendentale Come lei, milioni, miliardi di individui vivonolavorano, amano, socializzano, ma Jennifer forse è un po’ speciale.

Un po’ speciale forse perché immersa nel nostro caotico mondo ritmato da un tempo che sembrasempre più veloce, ha sentito la necessità di fermarsi un attimo, di rallentare il tempo, di fermarlo,anzi.. ritornare indietro in un passato non vissuto ma vagheggiato ed amato.

In un mondo che corre solo verso il futuro il suo è stato un gesto controcorrente, un atto di fedenella ricerca di cose mai viste e lontane, che sembrano senza tempo, senza forma, immerse in unlimbo nebbioso che solo la volontà e la determinazione riescono a chiarificare.

Jennifer ha voluto rivivere, anzi vivere, un esperienza mai vissuta, che fermentava nel suo cuore enei suoi più reconditi pensieri. Un salto nel grembo di quella madre terra che ha visto nascere i suoiantenati. Curinga, un punto insignificante di questo nostro mondo ,Curinga, un nome come tantialtri, Curinga, però, punto di arrivo di un percorso d’amore e di ricerca interiore.

Ed eccola in questo lembo di terra tra mare cielo, tra ulivi secolari e fertile pianura, tra storia eleggenda , tra fatica di restare e forza per andarsene, Curinga piccolo per tanti, ma grande per chi dalontano lo vede come punto fermo inscindibile dal proprio essere.

Il passeggiare tra le strade percorse dai propri cari, il vicolo, la casa, la ruga, il contatto umano, ilcalore del camino, il baccalà fritto, i fagioli con l’olio nuovo, i sorrisi, i racconti, il dialetto, lasperanza e, poi… Maria… trovata, ritrovata …contatto vero con il mondo fino ad allora immaginatoe sognato.

Grazie Jennifer, per averci ricordato le tante persone le centinaia di famiglie che col pianto nel cuore hanno dovuto lasciare la loro terra, ma vivendo in una terra lontana hanno mantenuto e vissuto quanto di positivo e di bello era rimasto nei loro cuori."

Cesare Natale Cesareo

Letter at the Curinga Insieme website

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Rosa Orlando



Filming by Rick Allred

I keep thinking about my great aunt Rosa, Maria Orlando’s mother. Rosa was born in 1881, and she was the older sister of my grandfather, Carmelo.

Before I even arrived to Curinga, I had been creating an image of her in my mind. The image was based on written documentation that provided a few scant details about her life. She was single, she was a spinster, and she died at the age of 70 in 1951. Then there were my own colorings, those that came from my vivid imagination and from a 21st century perspective. Even though I tried to be cognizant of the fact that she lived in a different time period, my own assumptions crept into the picture. The biggest assumption of all of them was that she never had children because she never married. I had painted her as a somewhat angelic woman who stayed at home spinning yarn and taking care of her elderly parents. OK, so I was a bit off. Nobody’s perfect though. So, we can cut her some slack.

I sit here and chuckle now as I recall my first reaction upon learning that my great aunt Rosa did have children despite the fact she never got married. Her first child died at birth in 1915, and Maria arrived in 1924. I think I felt a bit embarrassed because I didn’t know how my other relatives in Curinga would respond to this information. I know, it’s completely ridiculous. As if the Orlando family could disapprove of me because my great aunt, whom I never even met, had a child with a man who was married to someone else. “Oh dear! An affair!”

I also felt a strange mix of curiosity and sorrow. Curiosity about whether she had the two children with the same man, or if they were two different fellows. Curiosity about how they met and what sort of interaction took place between them up until the time she got pregnant. I felt sorrow too because I know that she lived in poverty and couldn’t provide for her daughter the way she would have wanted to.

In talking to people in Curinga about Rosa, I have two very different accounts. The first came from Maria, her daughter. Maria described her with great sorrow and tears in her eyes. She described her as “an old woman who was very poor and had to take donations ”. When I asked her if she was a spinster, she nodded and told me that Rosa would even spin thread from her bed when she was ill in her last years.

The other account I have is quite different. It comes from a couple I met on the same street where Rosa and Maria lived. Imagine what a serendipitous moment this was for me as I strolled along with my friend, Rick Allred. He and I were taking pictures together, and a man saw us from a distance. He signaled us to come to his woodworking shop so we could take pictures. He gestured and said, “Foto per l’America.” Then he asked us what we were doing in Curinga. I explained that I was visiting the house where my grandfather was born, just up the street. He asked me who my grandfather was, and I responded, “He was the brother of Rosa Orlando.”

Well, never did I expect that he would tell me he knew Rosa. But he did. He remembered her from his childhood. And he was convinced his wife would remember Rosa too because he said his wife “has a very good memory.”

So, Rick and I were gracefully invited into their home to have a coffee and talk about Rosa. In this account, Rosa was described from the perspective of two children who knew her when she was already advanced in age. Their impression of her was that she was nice, happy, and she liked to play games with them. She was a short woman, and rather rotund, and she had no teeth. I asked them whether she liked to sing (because my grandfather sang and played the accordion) and they said she would sing in the street.

Two very different accounts about the same person.

Rosa, the single mom who lived in poverty and had to ask for donations to eat and feed her child.

Rosa, the old spinster who was pleasant and who liked to play games with the children.

So much of how we perceive people depends on our own relationship to the person at the time in which we interact with them. What I remember as a child about the adults who surrounded me is much different than what I would notice today about the same people. My memories of my mother are far different from the impressions of the people who worked with her because they only saw one side of her at a given point in time.

This I believe is an important consideration when doing genealogy research. When we interview family and friends, it’s important to remember their context, age, and relationship and how all those factors can influence their perception.

Both accounts are real and valid for me. Which one is more accurate? I don’t know. What I like about the two accounts I have is that they balance each other out. If I had only talked to Maria, Rosa’s daughter, I would have settled with a very somber impression of Rosa’s life. Nonetheless, this couple brought some hope to my character sketch. They let me see a woman who clearly left a favorable impression on them.

In the end, the most important piece of Rosa that I discovered during this trip was Maria Orlando. Little did Rosa know back in 1924 that her new born daughter would be the missing link, 85 years later when I arrived to Curinga in search of my roots.

Thank you, Rosa Orlando.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

My Grandfather's House in Curinga




It has been two weeks since I returned to the United States after my two-week sojourn in Italy. My body has practically adjusted to the time change, the food and solitary dinners at home, but I hang on as best I can to some of the emotions and sensations that ran through my body during those two weeks in Curinga. I know that much of what I experienced in Italy was a better reflection of my true self, that is, who I really am at my core. It’s sad to think that I don’t have those feelings filling me up every day of my life. Isn’t that what life is about? Feeling we are being true to ourselves so we have no regrets later on?

Here are two small piece of the joy I recorded while searching for my roots in Curinga. One is the video of me finding my grandfather's house, and the other is this written testimony:

“I can't help but think that my mother, my grandfather, and Maria's mother, Rosa, are observing Maria and me in complete satisfaction. They must be filled with joy, and perhaps their happiness is what's overflowing inside of me. I rarely have felt so full. For our ancestors to observe such beauty, such love, without emotion would be impossible. I know my grandfather, Carmelo, is pleased with this journey I have made. He is playing his accordion to celebrate this homecoming, and the Orlando family ancestors are dancing to the sound of a tarantella, a song that has been composed just for this trip to Curinga.

There is no material possession that can substitute the happiness we carry within us. When our hearts are full, there is no need to look outside ourselves for something to fill the void. Sometimes we need experiences like these to remind us about what really matters in life."

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Finding My Blood in Curinga




The day I went to the rest home with Mr. Orlando and Eleonora, I had just about 15 minutes to absorb the news that I had a second cousin in Curinga before we came face to face in the visiting area of the "casa di riposo". Despite the fact that Eleonora told me in the car about my relationship to Maria Orlando, I still couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wanted to believe her, but part of me was still holding onto my own beliefs that I had constructed based on vital records from the town hall: Maria's mother had no children because she had never gotten married.

I was tremendously emotional despite my lingering doubts. I sat in the visiting area and tears were streaming down my face. A box of tissues was no where to be found.

I waited in suspense as Maria walked slowly from her room to the visiting area. Mr. Orlando greeted her in the doorway and said,

"Maria. You have a visitor from America. She is here to see you now."

Maria responded, "Isn't that strange. I dreamt two nights ago that someone was coming to see me from America."

My eyes opened wide and Mr. Orlando said, "Look! She dreamt you were coming. What a coincidence."

Once Maria was seated before me, I was at a loss for words. I had to ask Eleonora to help me because I couldn't get the words out of my mouth.

Word by word, question by question, Eleonora and Mr. Orlando introduced us and asked Maria questions to make sure we were really related. It was an emotional conversation as Maria was reminded of her mother, Rosa Orlando, and Rosa's brother, Carmelo, my grandfather.

"I remember when Carmelo died. The news destroyed my mother. After his death, she became ill and she never really was the same again."

Imagining my great aunt Rosa grieve her brother's death allowed me to experience my grandfather's existence in a very different way. There is something about hearing memories and seeing tears that is much more powerful than reading a death certificate from the town hall. It didn't matter how many times I read my grandfather's death certificate. I couldn't feel his death with a piece of paper. Until I could talk to someone who remembered his passing, it seemed as if he didn't really exist. Before this moment, I had only a handful of stories about him and no pictures to create an image in my mind. My mother shared very little with me about him because he died when she was nine years old. She was never able to tell me much about him, except that he was Calabrese and he would carry her around on his back when she was very little.

It occured to me at that moment while I sat with my second cousin that we shared a commonality. Neither Maria nor I had ever met Carmelo. We had only heard about him through our mothers and we understood the impact his death had on both of our families. With his passing, Rosa lost her hope for her younger brother's future in "America." With his passing, my mother would experience her childhood without a father and her siblings would leave middle school to become the bread winners of the family. Just by hearing Maria speak about this event, I was able to feel myself in the year 1937. I was able to feel some of the grief my family experienced when Carmelo Orlando died.

Two years of my family research culminated on that day in the casa di reposo where I met my second cousin, Maria Orlando. I had worked for 2 years trying to uncover the origins of my grandfather's family. I didn't know who or what I was searching for, but I knew that something wonderful and unexpected was waiting for me in Italy. I had never imagined it would be Maria. Afterall, I had convinced myself that her mother had never given birth to a child since she was listed as single on her death certificate.


The day following my visit to the rest home, I pulled out my digital camera and I looked at a picture of Maria. I felt a surge of energy and assurance run through my body, and it was as if everything fell into place at that moment. I looked more closely at the picture and suddenly I could see my mother's eyes and my uncle's mouth. At that very moment, I had absolutely no doubts that Maria Orlando was my cousin.


I had found my own blood in Curinga.


Saturday, October 17, 2009

What Vital Records Don't Tell You




After all my research on the internet and in the town hall here in Curinga, there was still a missing piece in the puzzle. That piece is Maria Orlando. I never knew she existed. Her mother, Rosa, had been listed as a single woman on all her vital records, so I assumed she never had children.

I expected that I would come to Curinga to hear stories and read vital records about my grandfather's family, but I didn't imagine I would find Maria. In fact, the afternoon that we realized that Maria could be related to me, I don't think I even understood who she was during all the excitement. I wish I could turn back the clock one week to replay that moment when Eleonora and her father, Guiseppe, discovered that I had a living relative in Curinga.

We were talking to Eleonora's grandmother on my first Saturday in Curinga, and Eleonora was certain that "la nonna" would be able to get us closer to finding a relative. I listened closely, but I got lostat times in the Curinghese dialect. For me, at this point, I had pretty much accepted the fact that there would be no living relatives who were so closely related to my grandfather.

At some point in the conversation with Eleonora's grandmother, Eleonora and her father Pino stood up suddenly and said, "Andiamo!" (Let's go!) I followed them without knowing where we were going or why they seemed so excited. It felt a bit like we were detectives, about to run off to solve the case thanks to a clue her grandmother had given us. The problem was, I didn't understand the clue.

In the car, I asked them where we were going in such a rush. They told me we would visit Maria Orlando at the rest home.

I asked, "Who is Maria?"

"Maria is the daughter of Rosa Orlando, Rosa was your grandfather's sister."

I let this information sink in for a moment. "But, Rosa Orlandonever married. It says "single" on her death certificate."

Eleonora responded, "Rosa had a daughter, Maria, but she didn't have a husband. She was single."

In 1924? A single mom?

Circolo Calabrese